Well, it's YOUR liver! ~Bree D.
"It's similar to chicken noodle." "Similar? What's that mean? You mean it could be rat noodle or something?" ~Waitress (1) & Bree D. (2)
The masses are asses! ~Joe F.
He's going to fall in love in those pants?!?!?!?!?! ~Dave J.
Having you go to Alex Tech is the vomit in my lungs. ~Vicki D.
Applying yourself at mathematics is like getting the keys to the car. ~Lyle R.
Je suis une belle pelle. ~Jessica Neuvessel
Half the land is chocolate. ~Mon T. G.
Since brevity is the soul of wit, I will be brief. ~Gyles F.
Women are stronger than men. ~Josh N.
Where'd you hide those Wheaties? ~Corey P.
Bite me, it's hot! ~Vicki D.
If you can't eat it all, then don't! ~words from Homie Nick himself
When you get hungry, you eat food, and if you're a binge eater you eat a lot. ~words from Homie Nick himself
Sleeping is like dying but you wake up! ~words from Homie Nick himself
I like your brain. ~Danika K.
I can verb any word. ~Danika K.
Yeah, well, I can adjectiveize any word. I'm feeling very Danika today? ~Bree D.
Dan has football thighs! ~Bree D.
Two words: CR ACK. ~Danika K., to Tim D., at Math League (the first time)
Pardon my inability to spell. ~Danika K.
White trash! Oh, excuse me, Caucasian trash! ~80's-girl's friend
That's Caucasian Non-Recyclables to you! ~Morris Math League team
It takes a lot less resources to make my clothes! Save the earth, be short. ~Lyssa B.
The tingling really is quite pleasant. Better buckle up. ~Danika K.
I feel like such a weenie. I don't know my boy bands that well. ~Danika K.
Ask a stupid person, get a stupid answer. ~Dustin-Karl L.
God damned cheese. ~Phil R.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. ~Bryan S.
Smell ya later. ~Jory A.
Die, bastard, die! Muah ha ha ha ha!! ~Bob D., protecting the hummingbirds from wasps.
Where's the beef? ~Phil R.
"Then I'm sorry this will be the last night we'll spend together, Dustin-Karl." "Don't touch my ass." ~Bree D. (1) & Dustin-Karl L. (2)
We lotht a train tell? ~Phil R.
Why is Phil? ~Bree D.
"But they have frosted mini-spooners!" "I don't care." ~Mary L. (1) & Shannon A. (2)
Maybe I'm just too excited to seduct my cup. ~words from Homie Nick himself
How do they make sandpaper? I thought maybe it was a rough tree. ~words from Homie Nick himself
I'm thinking there's a Dorito up there that could just stand up and walk away. ~words from Homie Nick himself
Man, I am living in a blizzard. ~Mr. Brunko
Bidet, Mr. Howden! ~words from Homie Nick himself
I didn't have any raisins, and we didn't have any grapes to dry out. ~Josh N.
But remember, only take her in Tylenol-sized doses. ~words from Homie Nick himself
I can return your money, or you can have it runny...or you can order something else. ~Hornman
Remember, you have three lifelines left: Ask your neighbor, ask Nick, or look into the magic cup! ~words from Homie Nick himself
"Is she naked in there?" "Either that or she's conquering the world." ~Jenny N. (1) & Bree D. (2)
I know what it is! Turkeys! You hit them, cook them, and eat them! ~words from Homie Nick himself
Guys are for sucks. ~Danika K.
Because Homie Nick makes up his own words. ~words from Homie Nick himself
If you're confused, get over it. ~words from Homie Nick himself
No, we're pretending we're on a plane. ~words from Homie Nick himself
Bree, you're a man. ~Mark H.
"Thank you for making us a 3 part strawberry, one part banana shake!" "Not a problem!!!!" ~words from Homie Nick himself (1) & Charity A.
I think {Homie} Nick will get turned on by blatting. ~Danika K.
I was gonna go to Greece, but I haven't taken the language yet, so yeah, let's go to Perkins. ~Bree D.
Thank hyphen you, George. ~Mark H.
You're on the ugly side. ~words from Homie Nick himself
"Pissing on impact." "POI?" ~Mark H. (1) & Bree D. (2)
I'm wearing a thong. ~Danika K.
Joe has many fingers. Ten, I think. ~Mark H.
Hey you guys, you can see the wetness! ~words from Homie Nick himself
Kayla is for sucks. ~Danika K.
It's fish! ~Some guy Danika knows
Damn, you guys got the munchies or what? ~Conoco guy in Arden Hills
Everyone hates them like a fox! ~Kate P.
There's a term that hasn't been invented yet that describes our general group of friends for the most part. You are that term, only louder. ~Dustin-Karl L.
I have trouble remembering what I think. ~Danika K.
"You know you're in college when..." "...you translate money into how much macaroni you can buy!" ~Bree D. (1) & Danika K. (2)
I have a partiality for the home team. ~Benjamin H.
I'm not Kyle, Kyle. I'm not German, either. ~Dustin-Karl L.
I'm thankful I'm not blind. ~Bob D.
Feed us! ~Angie R.
Yes, it's our fancy Thanksgiving dribble crystal. ~Vicki D.
Speak up! ~Angie R.
Are you your own grandpaw? ~Mary L.
I'll be all right. I have incisors. ~Dustin-Karl L.
Glory, glory, glory to God! ~Angie R.
Yeah, I was over at Bree's, and we had a big pail of Wacky Juice! ~Mary L.
Brings out the white in your eyes. ~Kate E.
It was on an island, because it was in the middle of...the river... ~Josh N.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave the country. ~Kate E.
Or I can put "Miss Josh Nelson!" ~Josh N.
Every time you say that, I have a mini-stroke! ~Kate E.
It could be anything from moth eyes to skin flakes. ~Josh N.
Dude, I thought you were talking about Black Beauty! That's a horse! ~Mary L.
Yeah, the slutty horse. ~Kate E.
"But I'm the American Beauty!" "The horse?" ~Josh N. (1) & Kate E. (2)
All this deep movie crap made my brains die. ~Kate E.
"Where're my keys?" "Josh, I drove." ~Josh N. (1) & Kate E. (2)
I feel like a gazelle! Because of all this grazing. ~Josh N.
I smell like chicken noodle soup when I sweat. ~Dustin-Karl L.
St. Nick is as real as you and me! ~Angie R.
She needs to be dead. ~Angie R.
Write it down! ~Angie R.
She doesn't have enough time to have one. ~Kelly R.
Randy Moss just loves dresses! ~Kelly R.
No, it's Destiny Weiner. ~Kelly R.
He does have some Barbie underwear! ~Kelly R.
You're going off the deck when we get home. ~Tommy R.
Aggravated battery! ~Tommy R.
I am, and I think I'm cute. ~Kelly R.
Ok, I'm officially freaked out. ~Tommy R.
Oh! It's just what I've always wanted! ~Angie R.
I hate him with every ounce of my Christian love. ~Ben H.
I don't who who Jorge is, but he conjugated his verbs, so he must be in an upper level Spanish course. ~Gretchen Dwyer
I've been trying to do that for a while, but the damned server is, well, damned. ~Dustin-Karl L.
Because I don't like their food. It's a nice place to eat at in the middle of the day, but there isn't much to actually eat. Sorta like our MAHS webpage. ~Dustin-Karl L.
NUR? ~Mary L.
You could be "Stupid" by yourself! ~Dustin-Karl L.
You pecker! ~Dustin-Karl L.
Oh! I have a dirty mind! ~Dustin-Karl L.
Rest assured, I have all my ribs. ~Dustin-Karl L.
"Merry Christmas!" "Yeah, that." ~Dustin-Karl L. (1) & Bree D. (2)
My schleez? ~Dustin-Karl L.
And I thought it added a romantic quality... ~Dustin-Karl L.
There's Kate the goose, Kate the human, and Kate Ellis. ~Bree D.
I do not want to hear it LIKE A FOX. ~Kate P.
Dustin says it was "awsome". Complete with misspelling. ~Lindsey S.
I wasn't unrelaxed. ~Vince D.
Never mind. Death is not worth dying for. ~Dustin-Karl L.
Muslim. Islamic. Yeti. ~Mary L.
Well, it used to be 32! ~Dustin-Karl L.
Rat! Rat! ~Dustin-Karl L.
God's going to rape me? ~Dustin-Karl L.
Who's always thinkin'? Me. I wear a hat sometimes. ~Danika K.
Maybe they ate their own French bread and went nuts. ~words from Homie Nick himself
I thought, "I'm working at work!" So I took a break. ~words from Homie Nick himself
She was busy drowning. ~words from Homie Nick himself
I think ice is like sex to pop, because when you put it in, it gets all excited. ~words from Homie Nick himself
Are you sure he wasn't having his period? ~words from Homie Nick himself
You're so stupid, you back up when you beep! No, wait! ~Danika K.
Did I stutter? ~words from Homie Nick himself
I know this. Cuz of my nails. ~Jenny N.
Is that like three against one? ~Mary L.
I have 3 monkeys left!!!! ~Mary L.
I got mixed up between a gallon. ~Keri V.
I and dolphins have sex for pleasure. ~words from Homie Nick himself
Proper flushing techniques with Homie Bree! ~Jenny N.
You're a priest-ist... ~Bree D.
And I'm like, "goody!!!" ~Kami S.
Bonnie is a Furby. ~Kate P.
I'll fit right in. I look like a gopher anyway. ~Josh N.
I don't run. It's physically impossible. ~Josh N.
We'll get all 5s. It'll be cute. ~Josh N.
Damn (oops, darn) straight (which isn't meant to be a homophobic comment.)! ~Lyssa B.
Hopefully her parents got her a lobotomy for Christmas. ~Lyssa B.
Oh, I tell you, it's quite a race. ~some lady at Super Valu
It's a theme park. ~Dustin-Karl L.
I stutter when I talk to myself. ~Ben Nelson
Dammit, I can't sneeze! ~Lindsey S.
That tickles my butt. ~Dustin-Karl L.
He rings our bell. ~Dustin-Karl L.
That's the only song I love that I'd introduce myself to. ~Dustin-Karl L.
There's f function and g function. G-funk! ~Dustin-Karl L.
Hehehhehehehehehhe...I would. ~Lindsey S.
I want a carefree, blissful relationship with no boundaries or consequences. ~Dustin-Karl L.
I'm doing better than Mike! ~Lindsey S.
Wham! Bam! Mustache! ~Dustin-Karl L.
She spit in it. I would. ~Bree D.
Hey, where's my carefree, blissful relationship? ~Dustin-Karl L.
Ahh, I smell the essence now. ~Lyssa B.
I didn't want to offend you about your internal damnation. ~Lyssa B.
There was a boy in one of my classes! ~Lyssa B.
Me and my other personalities. One of them's name is Lyssa. She's a short, wacky brunette. ~Bree D.
I sure hope Bree doesn't become Amish and shun me. ~Lyssa B.
Cracker time or crack time? ~Lyssa B.
So her voices are mute, and sign to her. Same thing. ~Lyssa B.
If I did puke, I would want it to be more of a political statement. ~Dustin-Karl L.
Oh. It doesn't work! Ahhhhhh!!! ~Mary L.
I couldn't be more happy. My daughter isn't going to starve. ~Mrs. Morgan (Julie Evenson) in The Underground Venus
If you get hungry, just lick yourself then. ~Danika K.
You should be in a maternity! ~Josh N.
Were those words? ~Danika K.
You guys could go to London together. ~Danika K.
Watch for ladders! We're going to die. ~Danika K.
"I think it's about..." "Bruegger's bagel!" ~radio song (1) & Danika K. (2)
Unity in nudity. ~2nd Floor Nelson boys at Bethel
I was being redundant, saying it again, wasn't I? ~Danika K.
What starts with S and rhymes with suckhead? I mean duckhead. It's suckhead! ~Danika K.
Come on, you piece of suck, you're in the fast lane! ~Bree D.
We'll milk the goats for milk. ~Danika K.
"So we're in the 5th dimension?" "No, I still have gas." ~Danika K. (1) & Bree D. (2)
This is the number one most likely time for us to be abducted by the 5th dimension. ~Danika K.
A dead bear would not be much protection against a sword! ~Bree D.
Your mom's a clock! ~Danika K.
"We'll miss Morris." "That's ok, we've seen it already." "But I didn't clean my room before we left." ~Bree D. (1 & 3) & Danika K. (2)
I thought she was sitting on the salad bar. ~Bree D.
Do you want some fungus? ~Danika K.
What's a basket of hot dogs? ~Danika K.
There was a meaning in there? ~Ray Richter
Talk about a morale-drop! ~Josh G.
I wrote a play once. No, just kidding. I was trying to start a conversation. ~Ray Richter
I'd be scared of them, 'cuz I'm a little. ~Danika K.
I said it with lowercase letters. ~Danika K.
I like the green taxis. They remind me of a parakeet. The green ones. ~Bree D.
Is his name SATAN? ~Josh N.
Wait, wasn't that a revelation? I get my revelations confused. ~Dustin-Karl L.
Are you sure you don't want to eat it as a group? ~Josh N.
Skee-U-Mah! ~Ashleigh S.
Trust me. The judges don't. ~Josh N.
It's Ziploc Girl! ~Simon C.
Pretend you're on the Campus Crusader. ~Ashleigh S.
I feel like Bonnie now. ~Benjamin H.
Kind of like looking into an anal cavity, isn't it? ~Ashleigh S.
I think his mom died. Well, maybe! ~Josh N.
Who's always thinkin'? Me. Sometimes I wear a ziploc bag. ~Ashleigh S.
I want to write to Dr. Date and ask him if ear sex is okay. ~Josh N.
I have a hardon. ~Ashleigh S.
"Do they have left-handed people in Britain?" "No, they kill them off at birth." ~Ashleigh S. (1) & Derek B. (2)
That was buttfuck cool. ~Ashleigh S.
On Dr. Date's anal advice! ~Simon C.
Are you saying that most lesbians are lethargic? ~Ashleigh S.
No, droopy. ~Josh N.
Suffer! ~Simon C.
Keeps the rats away! ~Josh N.
Yield this, bitch! ~Simon C.
Where do you want to go today, Jesus? ~Josh N.
You're gonna find Bonnie's dildos! ~Kate E.
He irrigated her! ~Josh N.
The hunting, all-American...you know. ~Kate E.
Jesus is in my bladder today. ~Josh N.
Stop! Collaborate and listen. ~Derek B.
Don't get all Mock Trial-y. I'm not on the stand. ~Kate E.
Just go to a sperm bank and be inseminated, like a cow. ~Josh N.
She's part Jesus. ~Josh N.
Simon says... ~Josh N.
Pick a race, pick a race, spin the wheel of race! ~Josh N.
I have confidence in you. I just have to be a man. Errr. ~Josh N.
Zdrazil & Chery say I have nice calves. ~Josh N.
Open the window, make up a snack. ~Josh N.
You have assassins! Cute! ~Josh N.
En gourd! ~Eric Sanford
"Ok, so now what?" "Now you stay back there." "No, now I bring it!" ~Danika K. (1 & 3) & Bree D. (2)
Lindsey made a copy. ~Danika K.
Next time you stick your butt in my face, I'll bite it! ~Elizabeth Ecklund
Your mom's a statement. ~Danika K.
Do you chew on this? ~Josh N.
I'm so proud of you, I should just give you a trophy. ~Josh N.
They don't have vaginas at Bethel. They check them at the door and don't get them back until school's over. ~Bree D.
We're fornication-free! ~The Morris Homies
No VAM! Violence Against Madonna ~Josh N.
It's like the sacrifice floor. ~Josh N.
Oh, I don't know if that'll be enough...I only have about 500 eggs in my lifetime... ~Josh N.
So you have to tell me the purpose of the breathing bag besides safe sex... ~Josh N.
I'm going to find my pulse with the metronome. ~Josh N.
Whales have, like, one. ~Josh N.
Oh, I thought you were just breeding mosquitoes. ~Josh N.
Maybe someday when I get drunk, I'll tell you. ~Josh N.
"Ovulate on command!" "That could be a new Barbie!" ~Bree D. (1) & Josh N. (2)
Why don't we work at Mattel? ~Bree D.
Barbie. Period. ~Josh N.
You'd have to peel me off the ceiling ~Mary L.
It's a harp! ~Brennan W.
Are you confusing sex with an asshole with anal sex? They are different things. ~Lyssa B.
Kami said that one to me! ~Josh N.
Every phone conversation is like a pie social. ~Josh N.
Oh mom! Bree melted into a gooey puddle again. ~Josh N.
Gol. Is his voice ever going to change? ~Josh N.
Here's my best pickup line: Ford. Chevy. ~Josh N.
I spore like a mad whore. ~Josh N.
"Why are we walking around in a circle?" "It's the equinox pre-show!" ~Bree D. (1) & Josh N. (2)
'Cuz Dustin-Karl has a way with GOEOE! ~Josh N.
I think this pizza needs a Biore strip. ~Josh N.
Go to a funeral and make up a snack! ~Josh N.
Ever made love to a dill pickle? ~Josh N.
Oh, a plant. That'll last forever. ~Simon C.
Go home and be white! ~Josh N.
Why? Am I nipping out or something? ~Benjamin H.
Lemon poppyseed dildo coming your way! ~Josh N.
It likes you! ~Josh N.
Derek is the physical embodiment of Satan's crotch! ~Samantha O.
Ya nocturnal shit! ~Josh N.
I'm the whore! I'm the whore! ~Ashleigh S.
I used to wear tights and fly around the house! ~Josh N.
Gay-dar! Gay-dar! Woowoo! ~Simon C.
I think God is giving me the finger today. ~Samantha O.
Bree, if I had any organs, I'd have sex with you, but I can just bud for your pleasure. ~Josh N.
Ready set go, not be mean. ~Samantha O.
I don't like pain. It hurts! ~Amy Schmidgall
Is there no simple way to say 'Powdered Toast Man' in a language other than English? ~Dustin-Karl L.
I highlight all text I read online. It's a social disorder, being that I am online highlighting text rather than outside with people. ~Dustin-Karl L.
I'm weeping. ~Josh N.
She didn't have newsprint on her face like most of the girls I date... ~Josh N.
Except you....you're just so unreadable I just don't care ~Josh N.
"I'm having time." "Parsley, sage, rosemary?" ~Bree D. (1) & Josh N. (2)
I have to send the thing back to the Martin Luther King people and tell them a) I'm not colored...enough, and b) I won't fit in, and c) I can't rap. ~Josh N.
I'm just trying to be Martin Luther King. ~Josh N.
Cuanta le gusta, le gusta? ~Josh N.
"This is the one that I just had to buy." "So the other ones you stole?" ~Patty's mom (1) & Patty S. (2)
"It's a combination of Titanic and Family Matters." "The house in Chicago sinks!" ~Bree D. (1) & Josh N. (2)
You are worth all the phone cards in the world. ~Josh N.
He hasn't had any humps yet. ~Josh N.
Ben licked me twice! ~Bree D.
Yo yo yo I have a dream. ~Josh N.
Or 'sexophone,' as we called it in 6th grade because we were so cool. ~Josh N.
Perhaps I will give her a concussion with all the quarters that are at my disposal. ~Dustin-Karl L.
I really meant to do that. ~Angie R.
Your name means warrior woman, and my name means angel. ~Angie R.
"What would Jesus do?" "Kill me." ~Bree D. (1) & Angie R. (2)
That means meet me in the shower in five minutes. So ya wanna? ~Kelly R.
Is she Spanish? ~Angie R.
Well duh it's a good idea. I'm a good idea. ~Kelly R.
Why don't you marry Regis, Kelly? ~Angie R.
I hate "come heres." ~Kelly R.
Oh, I thought that was the inside of the egg! ~Angie R.
What the dillio como estas oi? ~Josh N.
You are so funny, you silly pair of breasts. ~Benjamin H.
It's Ventriloquist Backpack. ~Josh N.
LTD. Isn't that some kind of learning disorder? ~Bree D.
The Village People were macho, too. ~Josh N.
If you were unsure...look at a map. ~Derek B.
The rainbow cars? ~Josh N.
Yeah, it's a foxhole...we're in the trenches. ~Bree D.
Don't hit the median. ~Josh N.
"I always shake girls' hands softer." "He shook mine softly, too!" ~Andy (1) & Josh N. (2)
It's opposite day! It's opposite day! ~Josh N.
There's a bomb on this bus. If you go under 55 miles or don't go to Chanhassen, it'll blow up. ~Josh N.
Brakes work! ~Josh N.
It could say something like "you're possessive." ~Bree D.
You talk like you have a magic eye. ~Bree D.
"Derek, by the way, do you have a ferret?" "What is going on?" ~Josh N. (1) & Derek B. (2)
So why don't you slide... ~Josh N.
They said gigolo three times tonight! ~Derek B.
We're not in Florida! ~Bree D.
The ghetto, futuristic, space parking ramp! ~Bree D., Kate E., & Josh N.
I need a map. ~Derek B.
He's blowing up all his gay friends. ~Josh N.
Sharon Apple? ~Josh N.
The moth thought it went to hell, but it was just my radiator. ~Josh N.
Look at the Nelscruiser. It's crying! ~Josh N.
"We're in Minneapolis, there are no laws." "It's like Cancun." ~Bree D. (1) & Josh N. (2)
He could be the theatre masks. ~Josh N.
We're Amish. With an O. ~Josh N.
Hopefully hell doesn't open up beneath you. That'd suck. ~Josh N.
Yeah. Defenestration. ~Josh N.
Let's play a game. One two three dead! ~Josh N.
There's no musical called "Both!" ~Simon C.
Kate Moss, would you eat something already? ~Josh N.
No, I'll eat nothing but tofu and sandpaper! ~Chad O.
It's like he's like "I have to be funny every goddamned day of my life goddamnit!"! ~Simon C.
Fall! Fall! ~Simon C.
Ok, that's got really innuendo in it! ~Simon C.
"It's your birthday! It's your birthday!" "Is it really?" ~Simon C. (1) & Lesli J. (2)
Bree, eat me! ~Simon C.
That's the swishiest Elvis I've ever seen! ~Kami S.
Homie Double-D! ~Ashleigh S.
He didn't say "whore," did he? ~Simon C.
Is that why you wanted me to try it as an egotistical basketball player? ~Benjamin H.
I'm sorry, did I tell you I wanted it Jesse Ventura as Joseph? ~Gregg G.
Land where my father died... ~Kate W.
Oh, go fishing! ~Simon C.
Susie's kind of like Barry Manilow. ~Josh N.
How are things in guacamole? ~Lesli J.
Linoleum turns me on! ~Kami S.
I have two religions: Lutheranism and Susieism. ~Chad O.
It takes too much time! ~Bree D.
Yeah, the business cards will say, "And God said, 'Let there be light!' and Bree responded."! ~Bree D.
Shit! Bag. Ben's car. ~Simon C.
I feel a need for predicates. ~Kami S.
Union is onion. ~Michael D.
Do I scream "lesbian?" ~Kami S.
Won't they be surprised when the oxygen all turns to hydrogen! ~Josh N.
I just used the worst English in my life! ~Josh N.
I missed you! I was just about to light a candle in your memory. ~Rebecca H.
Serena is the best birth control known to man! ~Rebecca H.
I could put that in a personal ad: sf, 20, enjoys long walks on the beach, monster truck racing, and visiting large balls of twine iso sm to feed her. ~Lyssa B.
Bob. Leeches are looking good! ~Brennan W.
Or else just think of words that rhyme! ~Michael D.
"Why not go at night?" "Scary!" ~Michael D. (1) & Bob D. (2)
Tell her you're going to e-mail it. ~Bob D.
"Is he retarded?" "No, he went to college!" ~Michael D. (1) & Bob D. (2)
Don't throw up on my stove! ~Vicki D.
It sounds like this: vroooom vrooooom! ~Bob D.
I'm so out of practice, and I have a cold. ~Danika K.
On. Off. Shit! ~Bree D.
Mp3s make me go howaooo! ~Danika K.
AHH! The same van next to each other! I can't handle it! ~Danika K.
"Oh my god." "You mean gosh." "No, goD." ~Brennan W. (1 & 3) & Vicki D. (2)
He can't torture them. They're little and defenseless. Like kernels of corn... ~Lindsey S.
Techno, big hair...sounds like the 80s. ~Lili P.
Isn't she cute when she's a gramma? ~Lori Martin
You should make monkey bread. It will help. ~Bree D.
One day you'll just flop over and die, because I was psychologically fishing for your brain. ~Phil S.
Bastard raisin! ~Bree D.
Oh crud! But they're so cute and tasty! ~Bryan S.
Simon made up the crescent moon! ~Bree D.
How do Pop Tarts work? ~Mark H.
It went to the chew. ~Josh N.
Like you had a whole bowl of ham, and where'd it go? ~Josh N.
They're playing the Weird Game! ~Ashleigh S.
Is it like OCD? ~Ashleigh S.
Ok, everybody, look, I'm Jesus! ~Josh N.
You're not twins! You're not twins! ~Bree D.
"Can you see them repressing me?" "No, sorry, it's too dark." ~Derek B. (1) & Kami S. (2)
You are right! You win monkey bread! ~Lyssa B.
It's just such a catchy tune that I dismember it. ~Lyssa B.
"He says he's empathetic. I say he's just pathetic." "Maybe he just has bad grammar. Like, 'I M pathetic'." ~Bree D. (1) & Lyssa, queen of the world (2)
Look Matt! Aggregate! ~Jamis A.
How do you feel about falafel? ~Bree D.
From our mouths to yours! ~Lyssa B.
Oh you fat bastard! ~Lyssa B.
My little red uh-oh light went on! ~Lyssa B.
It's women like you that make mechanics treat all women like idiots. ~Bree D.
The words "crack" do come to mind. ~Lyssa B.
I'm not a rhemus monkey, ok? ~Lyssa B.
If I just spontaneously combust, can you, like, give the remains to my mom or something? ~Bree D.
See that glowing building? That's how I find my way home! ~Bree D.
Produce? Blueberries? ~Corey P.
Sweet, you received it before I sent it! I want your modem! ~Bob C.
"I fear change." "All change, or just Canadian? I know Canadian doesn't work in our crap-ass washing machines here..." ~Bree D. (1) & Bob C. (2)
I can't help but laugh at you with your capital letters. ~Bree D.
Got leprosy? ~Bree D.
"I'll eat in remembrance of you." "I'm Jesus?" ~Lyssa B. (1) & Bree D. (2)
If it were a child, it would have teeth! ~Lyssa B.
I'm a bulimic enabler! ~Derek B.
Don't matronize me! ~Derek B.
And if you lived with the fishies, you'd be home. ~Lyssa B.
How long does it take for you to download an mpg or whatever...? ~Bob D.
"The finch comes out at midnight. It's code." "For 'Bree's sleeping, now we can smoke blueberries!'" ~Bree D. (1) & Vicki D. (2)
You're thinking of some bakery whore......a bakery whore! ~Bree D.
Let me go cut down a tree quick. ~Josh N.
He's one of those people who was put on this earth to be gay, and you know, God bless them. ~Phil K.
It's powdered evil! ~Bree D.
Wow, Derek, that was really straight of you! ~Bree D.
It's like ABBA! ~Derek B.
It's like I'm the mother of 30 preschoolers -- they're all of my friends! ~Bree D.
Kate doesn't want to be turkey basted! ~Derek B.
Sperm with beards? ~Bree D.
A straight rainbow? ~Derek B.
Sex does not make the world go round! ~Bree D.
You know, before, when I was like, "oh well...", I almost said "There's always next time."! ~Bree D.
They're just cute because they're little, and they're elk. ~Pat D.
And one was somebody wanting to know if I was going swimming, so I think probably that was a wrong number. ~Pat D.
"Yeah, well, that includes faculty, grad students..." "...babies that are inside of people who are pregnant..." ~Bree D. (1) & Beth Roy (2)
I'm afraid that when people see a sleeping body lying there, they're like, "Let's kill it!" ~Scott R.
"Wasn't Angela Lansbury in there?" "No, Barbra Streisand." ~Beth Roy (1) & Bree D. (2)
I, on the other hand, dream of being the monkeybreadmeister. ~Lyssa B.
Well, next time I see horses melting around lime-coloured twinkies, I'll think of you. ~Mitch G.
Bree, I think I just lost all my hormones...is that possible? ~Josh N.
Mom? Can you fix my loincloth? ~Benjamin H.
I was spineful! ~Lyssa B.
I swear, these people eat 'em. ~Betty Anderson
I did not eat them, Julie! ~Betty Anderson
Don't worry, Bree. I don't think of you as a snack. ~Lyssa B.
And Jesus appeared in the bakery and said "where's Phil?" ~Bree D.
Buy buddy frogs! You know it's true friendship when they eat each other! ~Lyssa B.
I'm supposed to be liberated or some crap, I think. But I am not burning my new bras. ~Lyssa B.
It would be like running into a fire! ~Michael D.
The walleyes are biting on Thompson Lake. Do ya get it? ~Bob D.
I can't hear you. I have my nose plugged. ~Vicki D.
That's your fault. ~Josh N.
"Actually it's a bralet, very soft." "So it's easier to swallow!" ~Bree D. (1) & Josh N. (2)
In the heat of passion, you'll just be like, A! ~Josh N.
Well, I guess you can't complain about the bad breath then. ~Josh N.
1, 2, 3! Whoever touches first wins! ~Josh N.
I learned that from Rowan Atkinson, how do you think I feel? ~Kami S.
Did you go and lift weights afterwards so he'd always be a part of you? ~Josh N.
Is that its nickname? ~Kami S.
He has a Joshy fetish! ~Kami S.
Where? ~Benjamin H.
"You could watch Titanic in that time!" "Or you could sink the Titanic like Bree did." ~Josh N. (1) & Benjamin H. (2)
You're such a stupid stupid homo! ~Josh N.
Save the Boundary Waters! Save the Boundary Waters! ~Luke Olson
And deliver us from evil, such as chlamydia... ~Benjamin H.
A flash of AHHH! ~Josh N.
Marshmallows aren't a food, they're an adhesive! ~Chad O.
Mine looks like it could bear children. ~Josh N.
Oh...phew...I was about to open a KEG of whoopass. ~Josh N.
I just went for the pretzels. ~Dustin-Karl L.
It is weak. Like your brother. ~Lyssa B.
And we all know that tall=evil! ~Lyssa B.
They say that April is the most beautiful time in the world in Washington. ~Bob D.
Your name's not B. Well, it would be, if I couldn't say Rs. ~Michael D.
Bree, you're one of a kind. At least, that's what the world's hoping. ~Phil S.
See, boogers are boogers. Icky boogers are anything else that're, well, icky. Duh. ~Michael D.
"Good logic, Michael." "Are you calling me fat?" ~Bree D. (1) & Michael D. (2)
"They realise that life is hopeless and are usually dead by 30." "Are you talking about cavemen?" ~Bree D. (1) & Michael D. (2)
I twitch more often when threatened. ~Phil S.
I was like, "Leggo my ego!" and he was like, "No!"! ~Michael D.
Bree, what are you doing awake? ~Brennan W.
"Did you know that moped and mopped are spelled the same?" "No they aren't!" "Yes they are!" ~Michael D. (1 & 3) & Bree D. (2)
"Geez! I can't call him a rat bastard and I can't tell him it's your birthday coming up...what are we going to talk about?" "Politics?" ~Vicki D. (1) & Bree D. (2)
They don't have ovens at Luther. They're too close to hell. ~Josh N.
You can't have raw baked beans. They're either raw or they're baked. ~Bob D.
I am the Tomato Forker. Hail. ~Vicki D.
Ball hair! ~Michael D.
But...but...they're chewy... ~Brennan W.
You just stay there and you think about spitting. ~Vicki D.
Don't make me write on your khaki hair, cuz I will. ~Michael D.
Ashleigh, quit being so vain! ~Josh N.
Tackiness is ducks. I mean sucks. Did I just say ducks? ~Josh N.
That's why I dumped you. You're too verbal! ~Jesse Johnson
Full-body make-up. Like the cast of Baywatch. ~Kate P.
I'm like, "God's funny." ~Josh N.
"I love Joshy. He smells good." "I ran out of deodorant today." ~Bree D. (1) & Josh N. (2)
Noooooooooo, BACON! ~Tim M.
Cute like a stomach pump. ~Alex L.
I said, "God, I wish for me to not whap her." ~Angie R.
"What you eatin' under there?" "Under where?" "Ha ha! You're eating underwear!" ~Angie R. (1 & 3) & Bree D. (2)
"I don't know how to do it." "Here, I'll help you -- F-R-U-I-T --" "I know how to spell it!" ~Annie D. (1 & 3) & Rebecca H. (2)
"Rebecca's stoned!" "And she's not sharing again?" ~Bree D. (1) & Betty A. (2)
I'd rather eat ticks. ~Corey P.
Your ass'll be crispy if you don't shut the hell up. ~Rebecca H.
Fruit does not have an orientation! ~Bree D.
"Do you have a word-of-the-day calendar or something?" "I am dubious..." "FLY YOUR FLAG!!!!" ~Bree D. (1) & Bob D. (2) & Vicki D. (3)
Hi, this is Irene at the bakery, and I don't have any ducks! ~Irene Strand
What do you do with your arms when you pee? ~Lyssa B.
Bluetenberry, ratenberry, and....peach... ~Joyce Snell
If you were my boyfriend, I'd run you over with my car. ~Amy Schmidgall
"So, have you ever had a tapeworm?" "No, what do they taste like?" ~Rebecca H. (1) & Michael D. (2)
Yes, Bree, I smoke chairs. I dry them out in my garage, roll them in paper, lite them up and smoke them. ~Dustin-Karl L.
"The pool player (life) can move the pool balls any way it wants to, which introduces chaos into the pool table." "Yeah, have you ever played pool with your hands? Much easier than with a stick." ~Dustin-Karl L. (1) & Bree D. (2)
What now? Start over. Oh really? ~Michael D.
German chocolate icing, with nuts AND coconut...what? If you don't believe me, call the Germans. ~Michael D.
She sounds like E.T. ~Bob D.
It's people like you that make me glad I'm not a fly. ~Phil S.
I'll be a fly for a day! ~Annie Dingman
Vomit! ~Annie Dingman
I want to can them in our stomachs! ~Irene Strand
She was Miss Happy Camper from hell. ~Rebecca H.
I'll just have my own definition. It'll probably be like, washing dishes or something. ~Josh N.
God damned left-handed toilets! ~Dustin-Karl L.
My calves are powerhouses! ~Josh N.
"Are you a spy?" "Why do you think I keep coming back, duh?!" ~Samantha O. (1) & Simon C. (2)
She's gonna put a hickey in it...not hickey...hoogie... ~Simon C.
I-I-I wonder who lost... ~Pat D.
I'm gonna be on the news! Rarrr! ~April N.
You practiced your homophobe or whatever. ~Josh N.
He is flame broiled. ~Josh N.
Yeah, I gotta go fix Butthead's mistakes... ~Amy Schmidgall
Oh yes. On the table. ~Pat D.
"I mean, sure, she might gross me out with her -" "Knife?" ~Bree D. (1) & Danika K. (2)
It doesn't go. ~Danika K.
I don't think there was any "suck" in the letter to them. ~Danika K.
I'm a camel. ~Danika K.
"I was being that guy, Star Wars." "This isn't Star Wars!" "But I was being him!" ~Michael D. (1 & 3) & Bree D. (2)
Just like the one-winged dove? ~Michael D.
They would be small bands...like a guy. ~Sam Kiefer
"Your lips are blue. Are you cold?" "No, I just ate an apple." ~Bree D. (1) & Kelly R. (2)
Wow, so I'll be able to conjugate all my verbs. Isn't that right? ~Alex D.
"She's better than Bonnie." "Praise the lord!" ~Bree D. (1) & Patty S. (2)
Just because they have a permit doesn't mean they aren't stolen. George Bush is allowed to run for President, but that doesn't mean it's right. ~Patty S.
I orgasmed 10 feet from my roommate! ~Derek B.
Magic mule. That's all I have to say. ~Bob D.
"Stop shaking your head at me, Mom." "I have a palsy." ~Bree D. (1) & Vicki D. (2)
"Who wrote The Night Before Christmas?" "Nietzsche." ~Vicki D. (1) & Bob D. (2)
I'm gay but not fat. ~Phil K.